Sweet and Sour

When The Ball Drops…You’ll Hear It…Trust Me..

carolynd1983 — Mon, 27 Aug 2007 22:31:39 +0000

That sound that reverberated through my ears could only mean one thing, it dropped and it dropped like a ton of lead. It wasn’t in the middle of the night, it wasn’t during that massive storm it wasn’t when I was expecting it all. It came out of nowhere and now I’m jumping out of my skin with the possibilities unfolding in front of me. My brain has gone high into overdrive with what this means for me and for my life and what this means for the turmoil I had been in. The something that I had been trying to build out of nothing now had a form. The muse now had structure, the spirit had a song and the dance now had a partner. My creative juices can be reigned in and nurtured and trained into something that I simply could not give them on my own. My own struggling will pass if I take this opportunity to nurture and grow my talent into something tangible and achieve what I so badly want and so badly desire. Yes, the ball has dropped. If you are waiting for your own ball to drop, you will know it when you hear it. More like you will feel it when you touch it. Structure can be a good thing, patience a virtue and timing is everything. Follow your heart and instinct, and you’ll know it when it happens.

It’s Closing Time On This Party: Saga of Nicole Richie

carolynd1983 — Wed, 22 Aug 2007 16:58:31 +0000

You can take the girl out of the party but can you take the party out of the girl? Well Nicole Richie is claiming just that, the Simple Life star who is currently five months pregnant says she is changing her wild ways and vowing to settle down. In an article on E!News Richie and boyfriend Joel Madden who are expecting their first child say they have changed their wild ways and are busy awaiting the arrival of baby and planning post baby nuptials. Has this twosome settled down, I’m a bit skeptical.

First of all Richie still has to serve a four day sentence for her DUI conviction last December. Much like her co star on the Simple Life, Paris Hilton, who was ordered to serve a forty five day sentence for a probation violation earlier this summer. Richie’s attorney has requested that she serve out her sentence at the Century Regional Detention Facility in Lynwood, California the same facility assigned to Hilton. Although Richie has requested to be assigned to the L.A. County Jail for reasons unknown. There is a belief that if she is to be placed in a more crowded facility her sentence may be shortened, which leads me to wonder if this is fair treatment or is this another celebrity perk at work?

Richie has claimed that her conviction turned her life around. She said that she was making bad choices over and over again and this bad choice changed everything. Now that she is pregnant her and Madden have been keeping a low profile. Could the party girl Nicole be turning into a homemaker? Is it possible for people to change like that? They say that having a baby changes everything and maybe for this reformed party girl it really will. Maybe this is the end of the nightlife and parties for Nicole and the start of having a family. In the article on E!News she talks about how she wants a big wedding and goes even further to talk about the family she wants. Growing up happens at different times for different people, and this may very well be the end of an era.

Will we miss the old Nicole? We are a society based on what the people in the limelight are doing. We thrive on them, we emulate them and we strive to be like them, and we live vicariously through them. I don’t think we will have the chance to miss her, as she will become a Hollywood mom and we worship them just as much as anyone else. I think the next chapter of this story is coming so we all might want to stay tuned, I know I will.

Broadcasting Feelings Pros Vs. Cons With 1MillionLoveMessages.com

carolynd1983 — Tue, 21 Aug 2007 18:31:23 +0000

On my never ending quest to find quality blogs I stumbled across one that really sparked an interest with me. When you constantly come across the same stories of “my boyfriend dumped me,” “my parents don’t like me,” “im failing school,” or any other fill in the blanks you can come up with its refreshing to find a unique blog out there. One Million Love Messages is just that. Designed on the premise of letting people tell each other that they love each other, readers can send in their submissions and they are then posted every day showing the whole world just how much they love each other. Maybe it’s a bit cheezy but the thought it there and that’s what really matters. Today’s post consists of a couple in Florida where the girl submitted two poems about her love. The poems speak of how lucky she is and how she will love him “infinitely.” I have no bad feelings towards this couple I just stop to question what is the purpose of posting a picture of you and your partner and poems expressing your life justifying your feelings to millions of strangers or are you really justifing your feelings to yourselves?

As I mentioned before it is refreshing to see a new blog idea but is that just what it is a new idea and is the thought of love really there or is it simply good marketing? I wonder how much do we really care to tell each other that we love each other across the internet or is there some sort of fascination with making our feelings public? Do our feelings become more real when they hit the web and they are visible to millions, is that our way of justifying what we do or do not feel?

Whatever the reason is this website is booming. With tons of hits and submissions coming in there is no end in sight. I see no reason for there to be and end as well. If couples feel the need to express their love this way then fine, there is nothing unhealthy or dangerous about it. Also what a way to reveal a crush or a secret admirer. My only reservation is what if we are trying to make our feelings real by making them public, I would be afraid that anyone doing that is heading down a dangerous road.

Society moves in its own way and we are living in a technological age and this is how we do things now so maybe love has advanced to this level and we must keep up. Whatever it may be say your “I love you’s” in your own way, on your own time,” and don’t let technology sway you. We may be an advanced society but we still have primitive instincts and feelings and we need to protect them. Follow your heart for it knows you and you know it. Be sure to check out One Million Love Messages it may just inspire you!

“We little know the things for which we pray”

carolynd1983 — Tue, 21 Aug 2007 01:08:58 +0000

Prayer was once only reserved for the religious. Prayer can be a tricky thing especially if you do not believe in a higher power, then again if that is your belief you probably are not engaging in prayer a lot. Although prayer can be seen in different ways. Sometimes we pray without even knowing we are praying. Those silent pleas we send out, “please let me get this promotion,” when awaiting a difficult decision at work or “please let her say yes” when popping the big question. These seem like huge pleas or prayers but they get even bigger. We send out unknown prayers all the time, the longing for that “someone”, the hope for a better life, the needs and wants that we endure during a single day could be seen as prayers, but what are we praying about that we know little about?
Who are we praying for? Ourselves, our loved ones, people in foreign countries, our troops at war? People of faith will give you generalized answers like this but that is the big structure of praying. What about the praying we do and we don’t know it. Did you ever wake up one day to realize you were madly in love with your best friend and you had no clue about it until that very second of that day? Even funnier were they madly in love with you too? Prayer, its not always in a religious sense. Maybe intuition is a better sort of way to describe this. What about the day you realized you were ready to have another child, or move to a bigger house or buy that new car or quit your job and work at home. Your mind was busy at work with all these things and your consciousness just had not brought it to your attention yet.
We do little know the things for which we pray until one day they are brought to your attention. Then we are shocked and sometimes scared by them but keep in mind we knew these things all along and we wanted them bad enough to make them happen in our lives. We prayed or hoped or wished or however you want to look at it for these things and we brought them into a reality. Little did we know what we were “praying” for. In our darkest hours we must remember that our minds are working on a master plan for us and it will unfold in due time. This is what will keep us going when all hope is gone. This is the key to pushing ourselves forward, knowing that our souls and our subconscious knows where we are headed and we will find our way wherever it may be. Keep this in mind especially if you are at a weak spot or a dark point. Your inner you knows where you are going and how to get there and you will find your way, just don’t lose hope. Canterbury Tales can teach us all a lesson in faith, its out there and it will help us wherever we are if we just hold on and keep fighting through the battle of life. So hold on and you will get where you are going in due time with a little bit of faith and courage and prayer you will be right where you are supposed to be and that makes all the difference.

The Three Little Words That Changed My Life

carolynd1983 — Mon, 20 Aug 2007 19:18:56 +0000

If we had only bit our tongues. Six months ago, or for some six years ago, or sixty years ago, or maybe it was just six days ago, or six minutes ago. If only we had bit our tongues. If only we had not let those words roll of our tongues we may not be in this predicament now, or would we? Do those words make a difference, do they really make an ounce of difference? I sat there and watched him say it, I watched the words spill out of his mouth and then suddenly they were spilling out of mine and I felt this elation that I swear I had never felt before but really I had. When he asked me though of course I said I had never felt this way before because that’s just something you lie about or, excuse me, fib about it. A little white lie about something like that never hurt anyone.
Those words, those damn words that changed everything. Now here I am six months, or is it eight months later and I still here them, reverberating in my ears, pulsating, begging me to believe them even though something inside is screaming at me not to. I want to, I want to more than I want anything. More than I want to be noteworthy and have a career and be known and be someone, I want these words to be true but I just cannot believe that they are. Someone, someone very wise said “actions speak louder than words,” and I’m thinking I should know who this someone is but I’m in too much of a rant to actually figure it out. But they do, actions speak much louder than words and his actions do not speak what his words do and it drowns me in misery.
So I sit, patiently hoping for some sort of change. Some change in the scenery, the mood, my lifestyle, all things that this man, or this boy I should say has no control over but I’ve thrown all my eggs in one basket and now they’re cracked and I think I’ve cracked too in the process. I’ve done what I’ve warned every girl I know not to do and I’ve done it. I’ve sold myself short, I’ve settled, I’ve let him sink my battleship and I’m drowning in the water and I can’t swim. Where do I go from here? What do I do from here? Short of being the girl who constantly writes about her broken relationship and the fear of becoming that, what on earth do I do?
Six months ago, or eight months ago or maybe it was a year. I sat at a table, I looked across that table and there sat a boy. There sat a boy that I thought would be there forever, i thought the impossible. I thought what every girl thinks at that time in her life that she will probably cross over and over and over again. They say you kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince, but maybe you are just destined to kiss frogs, I think I am. I sat at that table, I sat calmly at that table because I knew something was coming, it was so quiet I could hear the clock tick and my palms were sweaty and I was nervous and I knew. Then quietly, quickly he looked at me and he said those three words, “I love you,” and the just as easily as he said it, I said it back and my life has never been the same since.

Before You Say I Do…Oh Wait That’s The Television Again

carolynd1983 — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 21:52:38 +0000

Not to bore anyone but my MTV addiction is going strong. Mainly due to the fact that I had a severe bout of insomnia and the only thing that could pacify me enough to sleep was the soothing or albeit boring sounds of MTV. Though I’ve been loyal to them in the past I’m downright disgusted right now with this display of television. The current show is their real winner Engaged and Underage. Now I’m not trying to become an MTV critic or anything but I couldn’t pass this one up. I’m not sure if they are simply running out of ideas for shows or if this was a good idea simply gone horribly awry. For anyone who has not seen the show it focuses on two young people (very young) choosing to get married and the trials and tribulations they face. I’m just wondering if this is some play off what our culture has become or if its just more of MTV’s bad reality series.

The “kids” on this show never seem old enough to cross the street alone let alone get married. Yet they whine and complain to everyone about everything. They somehow buy houses, rent apartments, buy cars, and get engaged and married all in a half hour time slot. Most of them have not even reached the age of twenty one yet so I guess that rules out the champagne toast the the wedding now doesn’t it?

There is so much drama packed in one half hour its incredible. Its understood that weddings are stressful, but for these, once again “kids” I don’t think it should be this hard. Shouldn’t they be in college or doing something to help themselves instead of rushing into adult lives? These are just my thoughts, I may be the exception here but that’s what I’ve always believed. Leave it to MTV to corrupt the minds of young people again, or maybe they are already corrupted to begin with.

Whatever the case may be this show is not one of MTV’s finest. It is chock full of cheeziness and drama. Young people fighting and making up left and right and over and over again. It’s basically one big shouting match between boy and girl, mother and daughter, father and son, and inlaw to inlaw. If you enjoy being in the line of fire you may enjoy this show, if not you may want to take a pass and just wait for the next wedding invite to come along for your taste of wedding cake!

Nice Guys May Finish Last But Good Girls Are Thrown The Tomatoes and I Ain’t Jokin’

carolynd1983 — Thu, 16 Aug 2007 06:02:53 +0000

It’s happened once again. I hoped it wouldn’t, I prayed it wouldn’t, I even set up an altar and offered my sacred Steve Madden “Hooker” boots up to the gods in hopes they wouldn’t trap me again but damn are they good. Yes, I’ve been sucked into the unreality of the reality of MTV. I merely sat down in front of my television for five minutes to calmly eat my bagel and before too long I couldn’t pry myself away from the sappy, overdone, satirical rip off of Sex and the City, MTV’s current hit, The Hills. Plucked from the former hit, Laguna Beach, the “star” of the show, Lauren Conrad and fellow gal pals just embarked on their third season which I feel my brain may have already been saturated with in all its dramatic flair.

In this episode, “LC’S” new roomie, Audrina reconnects with an ex, Heidi gets engaged to the gag worthy boyfriend and Lauren seeks comfort from her mother and all along I’m thinking why am I watching this, yet I could not pry my eyes away from the screen. The need to want to call it a living soap opera runs high and I have a hard time believing that twenty one year olds talk like this, much in the way no one found Dawson’s Creek believable but there was something that hooked me. When Lauren began to talk about Audrina’s need to give her ex a second chance she went into a monologue of sorts about girls giving guys second chances and it struck a nerve with me. Her exact words were “I’m all about second chances and every girl wants to be the girl who change’s that one guy.” Maybe there is some “realness” left in reality.

Maybe these girls aren’t as stupid as I think, or then again maybe they are. Every girl wants that chance to “fix” that guy she lost whether she knows it or not. We tend to blame ourselves even for things we did not create. Why should we though, is it just something built into us that we cannot change? Women are fixers, so why can’t we do a little renovating when it comes to men? Or is our heart too high a price to pay when it comes to that?

Maybe men should just come “pre-packaged” or “pre-formatted” no instructions included you just pop them out of the box and you’re set. No tweaking, no fiddling, no work. Of course I’m being facetious now we would need an instruction manual for them to lose. All joking aside women, especially young women (but not exclusively) spend much of their time trying to change or “format” their men only to be disappointed. People are not programmable, men or women. We come from the “As Is” section you know the one with missing parts and broken pieces and we just have to adapt to each other. You’re missing a screw and I’m missing a bolt, somehow we make it work.

That still doesn’t ease the pain of losing what you could have had if only he stopped doing this, or started doing this, or did more of this or less of that or, or well you get the point. Still it doesn’t end the longing to rekindle that old flame. But as they say ex’s are ex’s for a reason and no amount of fixing up will ever really change that. You can slap a can of paint on someone but you can never really change their interior, no matter how hard you try or how badly you want it.

Towards the end of the show Audrina points out that her decisions may not have been the best one but that she knows she needs to learn “the hard way” which is true for many of us. If you have a hard head, keep hitting it, it’ll only get harder but eventually you’ll get there. No one promised happy ever after and if they did, they lied to you, get used to it.

If you’re wondering how the episode ended it went a little something like this. Fergie sang “Big Girls Don’t Cry” while there were shots of Audrina and her new guy, Heidi and her still gag worthy now fiance and Lauren by herself. I think it was going for the universal theme of make bad choices and you’ll never end up alone, maybe with someone you can’t stand by next month who may potentially ruin your life, but hey you got a good month of satisfaction out of it and probably a really good breakup story. Plus by this time next year you’ll be ready to rekindle that flame again. Or make good choices like our girl Lauren and you get to go to your mom’s house and have her cut the middle out of tomato slices for you. I don’t know about you but I hear my mom’s tomato plant is in bloom, I better give her a call.

Top Ten Signs You Are In a Relationship and Don’t Know It Yet

carolynd1983 — Wed, 15 Aug 2007 20:05:41 +0000

1. You share pet names for each other, without sarcasm or embarrassment

i.e. You are walking through the grocery store when your lover holds up a box of brownie mix and asks if his “pookie wookie” would like to make him a treat as sweet as her (here’s where the rest of the world would gag but not you lovebirds)

2. You’ve been with each other all day long and as soon as you are apart for more than ten minutes one of you is calling the other under the guise of “accidentally” leaving their cell phone, ipod, wallet, etc. in your apartment This leads to a two hour phone call and the “missing” object is soon forgotten.

3. One of you did “accidentally” leave your cell phone, wallet, or ipod in the other’s apartment conveniently planned so you would have to make a trip back. This usually happens at three in the morning.

4. Well now you are there at three in the morning, you might as well just stay because you wouldn’t want to be away from your snookums for too long now would you?

5. Well certainly you would need certain things to stay over at someone’s house, what you already have them? “Just in case” you already left your pajamas, a toothbrush, some deodorant, a full extra outfit for tomorrow, your current hair product and the current copy of Cosmopolitan.

6. Now that you are there you’re hungry, fortunately you know the contents of your lover’s fridge better than you know your own. Plus you left all the ingredients to make an awesome turkey sub in the middle of the night, in there yesterday sounds like you’re set.

7. You may not be dating your lover but the rest of the world has a hard time believing that and who can blame them. You are constantly introduced as the other’s boyfriend/girlfriend depending on the situation this either elates you or annoys the hell out of you, same for your partner.

8. When members of the opposite sex approach you and the question of if you are single comes up you tend to get flushed, stammer a lot and a reply of “umm, well, you see it’s like this, we’re not “together” but we…..” usually the other person has wandered off by this point.

9. All of your friends are tired of hearing about this person, they’ve come to realize that outside of both your neuroses the two of you are dating and just don’t realize it yet. They have grown tired of the “unrelationship” drama and have moved on and found real relationships in their own lives that they can pick apart and analyze in their own time while getting drunk off cheap beer and margaritas and placing bets on when you two will wake up and make it “official”. Hint of advice, get in on the bets

10. It would be nice if number 10 could be exchanging “I love you’s” but there is a lot of empty promises involved there. Instead of taking the ideal route let’s go the real route, exclusivity. If you have established exclusivity with your lover then you are possibly in a relationship of sorts or on the way to one. This means no hanky panky of sorts with anyone even if they show you interest, respect the exclusivity rule.

If you read through all of this and discovered you are in a relationship and now you are wondering what to do, well quite possibly do nothing. You cannot change the other person, even by reading this article (yes, I know that is disappointing). So you have two choices, stick out, or run, like the wind and latch on to somebody else you little leech! You can spend your whole life doing that and get nowhere. Decide what’s best for you, stay or go and if you go make sure you get their best stuff in the “breakup”. Follow your gut, you know that twitchy feeling in your stomach, it won’t lead you astray. Everybody, live, love, laugh and eat bon bons they’re good for you and they’ll ease the pain of a breakup (tried and true!).

Lust for Life or Love for Life Who’s Right?

carolynd1983 — Wed, 15 Aug 2007 04:40:24 +0000

Life must have been going pretty well for Adam in the Garden of Eden and then that Eve had to come along and the first male/female relationship was born. Since our prehistoric ancestors were the first to embark on that wonderful journey all humans have been struggling to get it right since then. What is real love, does anyone know for sure? According to ygoy.com
real love is more than just a Beatles song. It encompasses feelings beyond infatuation, the right “one”, more than just sex and last but not least a commitment. If this is the criteria for real love could one argue that lust is the evil twin of love?

Real love has been defined in more ways than the only the ones listed above. In fact it is often used as a term for purity an abstinence. Mary Beth Bonnaci founder of Real Love a group that presents speakers and classes focusing on finding real love and not just sex. Giving seminars and classes all across the country and world her message hits home with millions of young people every year. If in fact anyone were to believe that lust were the polar opposite of love I believe that Bonacci would be the ideal candidate.

When you look at love and lust side by side they share some of the same qualities. Both include the law of attraction, both include feelings, both include instinct and you could even say there is a relationship of some sort in each one even though the relationship involved with lust is much different than that with love. What makes these two work side by side and how do we distinguish them and use them in our lives?

Penny Lapenna of Singular Cake explains in her article Why Lust is Good about the ways lust can work for us in our lives. She explains how initially we are attracted to someone on the physical level and before we can ever get to love we must meet the desires that our bodies are programmed to have. We learn this at a young age and if we do not go through these steps we may never make it to the love phase.

Love and lust fall on two different sides of the spectrum but at one point they do meet. If you can use them wisely in your life you will be on the right track to finding the term I originally started with: real love. One can over power the other but only if you let them. Use them, don’t abuse them and most of all enjoy them and each other.

Books Glorious Books (Would be more glorious if I knew the endings)

carolynd1983 — Mon, 13 Aug 2007 23:54:41 +0000

I can’t resist books, almost as much as I can’t resist shoes. Especially when they are on sale or better yet when someone is giving them away. I came across a pile of books in the laundry room of my old building that someone was giving away due to the fact that they were moving therefore I ended up with about eight “new” books. Unfortunately I have this really bad habit of collecting books instead of reading them. I thought I would share some of the ones I’ve “collected” in hopes of me actually cracking them open.Now some of these books came from college classes that I had taken over a year ago and I couldn’t part with them because they seemed so interesting. I’m still hanging on to Fast Food Nation which I’m not sure if I will ever get through. I think I’ve opened it several times after I completed the Cultural Studies course that required the book. Although I do have a fear that I may never eat McDonald’s ever again after reading it!

Another book leftover from my college days is Long Walk To Freedom by Nelson Mandela. I was really enjoying this book as it was a part of the required Composition II class that focused on South Africa but yet I never finished this one either, even while I was in the class.

The books I acquired from the laundry room are Anthem by Ayn Rand and Tales of Ordinary Madness by Charles Bukowski. I also acquired several more but are too many too list.

I have more books that I have not been able to read yet and my frustration builds. Reading was one of my favorite things as a child and I seem to have lost the time for it as an adult. Although my time is now more spent on writing which I cannot complain too much about I do miss the time I spent reading, the hours I spent with a book in my face, I have many memories of this growing up. I hope I find the time to read the books I highlighted on here, I have been told these are excellent reads and I would really enjoy reading them. Any suggestions on future books to add to my collection or feedback on any of these books is always welcome. Happy reading everyone!